Had to “Go There” to Get Here

While I don’t believe that “things happen for a reason,” I do believe that within each trying time, we can find hidden lessons.

Looking back with kind, open eyes at painful situations can often bring you the valuable information that you need as you guide your behavior moving forward.

Over the years, as we grow into mature women and mothers, aunts, co-workers, business owners, partners and friends (to name just a few hats we wear), we seem to regularly encounter many different situations and issues, but not all of them are positive. As a matter of fact, it seems that some days (or even months) are filled with nothing but crisis’ and negative outcomes. Perhaps you have a falling out with a close friend, or you aren’t chosen for that position you’ve been coveting. Maybe we become disconnected from our partner or our children, or we have to face a health crisis of our own or someone we care about. All of these scenarios plus many more, can contribute to us think we are never going to feel happy again or that our life will never be “normal.”

While I don’t believe that “things happen for a reason,” I do believe that within each trying time, we can find hidden lessons. They don’t have to be elaborate lessons (I knew I shouldn’t have taken that job with such a long commute!) but they can be just quiet whispers about what we experienced in the storm. Maybe it’s a small nudge about the actions of a person close to you that you had never noticed before. Or the realization that you really never liked that doctor you have always gone to or the frightening thought that you’ve spent so many years working hard for someone else but you’ve always wanted to be your own boss. Sometimes it could be an observation about the people around you: who was there for you and who wasn’t during your personal crisis?

Looking back with kind, open eyes at painful situations can often bring you the valuable information that you need as you guide your behavior moving forward. I believe that every crisis or situation is really positioning you to be the best person you can be, even if the scenario was so painful. You wouldn’t be the woman you are today if you had never encountered adversity or a challenge, if life was perfect and went seamlessly! Sometimes it seems you must go through these difficult times in order to gain clarity about what direction you should be taking.

If you’re unsure how to do this or if you just feeling powerless, counseling could be just the step you need to shift your life in a better direction. Please reach out to a therapist in your area as they are waiting to assist you in living the life you deserve! For more information about our specialized therapy for women, please visit our website at www.empoweredconnections.net or call 443-968-1555.

DEBORAH DULEY
DEBORAH DULEY is a licensed social worker in the state of Maryland. She has a BS in social work from Bowie State University and a Masters of Social Work from Howard University, Washington DC, as well as thousands of clinical hours and continuing education. She is a certified Stepfamily Foundation Counselor and is ASIST trained in suicide intervention. In addition Deborah is trained in divorce and custody mediation. Deborah is the founder and owner of the counseling practice Empowered Connections LLC, located in the heart of Leonardtown Maryland and the facilitator of her new therapy program “10 Sessions to Better Self-Esteem.” Deborah has over 25 years of experience working with women in many capacities such as activist, domestic violence counselor, and crisis interventionist. As the “women’s therapist,” she is passionate about working with women and teen girls. She integrates her knowledge of mental health issues and her life experiences to assist them in increasing their self-esteem, decrease anxiety & depression symptoms and tackle a whole host of personal issues that women struggle with.