3 Things You Can Do Right Now To Feel More Ho-Ho-Hopeful About Finding Love This Holiday Season.
Every year I cringe when I see local retailers putting up holiday decorations in October. This thinly veiled attempt to get us shopping a month too soon puts a damper on the specialness of the holidays for me. I feel like yelling, I want to enjoy Halloween in October and Thanksgiving in November people!
For me those too early Christmas trees and menorahs are a minor irritation, but to many single people they’re an early reminder that another holiday season is upon us, and they’ll be spending it without a partner. Again.
Being alone during the holidays can be difficult. No matter how many close friends we have, cooking a holiday dinner or cozying up by the fire is just more fun with someone you love right there with you. Company holiday parties are more comfortable with a date. And it feels good to head home for the holidays with a partner by your side. When I introduce two people and they fall in love, it makes me happy to think of them during the holidays (shameless plug for matchmaking).
But seriously, you don’t have to hire a matchmaker. If you’re serious about finding love, there are three things you can start doing right now to put the odds of falling in love in your favor. There is one caveat though. You must be willing to look at your priorities during this very busy time of year and really go for it.
Open yourself up to others (and put down your #%*& phone). This sounds trite, but it’s so important. Making eye contact and smiling can make all the difference.
Recently I was at a charity event in DC and a gentleman walked by. Instead of looking away, I gave him a big smile and he walked right over and introduced himself. I’m married so I made an interesting new friend, but you get the picture. I invited him to come over by smiling. And he accepted the invitation.
Believe it or not, this also works at Starbucks, the grocery store and walking at the park. In the DC area, it’s not our culture to talk to strangers without an “invitation”. If you want to meet single men, you have to be approachable. Take it from someone who met past boyfriends at the bookstore and grocery store and who met my husband at a bar. Quality single men are everywhere, every single day, all around you. You’ve got to start looking them in the eye and smiling if you want them to say “hello”!
Get off the couch. I know you’re tired after work and don’t feel like going out. Go out anyway. There is a zero percent chance you’ll meet someone inside your home.
There are so many fun and interesting things going on in our area! Check out MeetUp (www.meetup.com) to find a group that appeals to you and sign up for a get-together. Find events in your area on www.eventbrite.com. Take a look at the Washington Post’s Going Out Guide (www.washingtonpost.com/goingoutguide). Go alone or with a friend – just do something!
Date Online. Where else can you check out thousands of single men while drinking a glass of chardonnay in your pajamas? Whether you’ve never given online dating a shot or tried and gave up, it’s time to give online dating a serious go. It’s the easiest way to meet commitment-minded single men.
Post high quality, recent, photos, both close-up and full body shots (no pets or car-selfies please). Write an upbeat and warm profile – one that shows what an awesome and fun partner you’ll be. Make it playful and uniquely you.
Set up some phone calls, say yes when the good ones ask you out, and start going on dates. In my not-so-humble opinion, meeting for coffee is not a date it’s an interview. I suggest dinner, drinks or a fun activity.
And remember, some great guys aren’t great online daters, so please cut them some slack. And consider being open to someone a little older, shorter or farther away than you might’ve in the past. Sometimes love comes in a surprising package – it did for me and does for many of my clients.
And lastly, be consistent. Treat strangers like friends and smile everywhere you go, every single day. Fill your calendar with fun things to do and get out of your house regularly. Put consistent time and effort into online dating and go out on lots of dates.
Finding love takes time and effort, but ultimately you WILL meet “the one”. And it might just be in time for the holidays…or Valentine’s Day…or St. Patrick’s Day… or Memorial Day… Just keep up the good work!