Nothing More Precious than Mom’s Good Night Kiss
By Candice Quinn Kelly a.k.a. Miss Candy
As Springtime approaches with new life everywhere and Mother’s Day just past, I think about the challenges of motherhood. As a Mom of the older order, with my oldest 26, middle 24, and the baby 19, I can speak with some degree of authority. Whether you work outside of the home, part-time or full-time, inside of the home or all of the above, at times during your children’s formative years (which is their entire life!) you have experienced the never ending sense that you can’t get it quite right, that every other Mom has cracked the code, and that your kids are the only ones who never turn in the homework, that you made sure was completed, to the right teacher at the right time!
With my baby gone off to college, I decided last summer to bring order to my home. I began the process of cleaning out attics, closets and organizing all of the childhood memorabilia that had accumulated over the years. I’d create lovely memory boxes that my children would share someday with my genius, amazingly perfect grandchildren. The very same grandchildren who would call me “Grand Mama” (accent on the Ma—sort of Frenchy and high class!) and cherish me for the wonderful person I am—you know the same person that their parents, my darling children, had decided was hilariously whacky in large part due to my amazing advice such as “Tell me your friends,
I’ll tell you your name,” “Self praise stinks” and “You can drag a horse to water but you can’t make it drink it—and that means Budweiser, young man!”
These are not original motherly gems—these were passed down from my mother from her mother. She also taught me the tradition of burning a bayberry candle at dusk on Christmas Eve for good luck in the coming year (and also so the house smells good for Santa). Oh and there was the lentil soup on New Year’s Eve—best eaten as close to midnight as possible—every lentil eaten is a dollar in the new year. Prior to my grandfather’s death in the late 80’s we upped that to $5 due to inflation. It’s an ancient Irish custom, I think.
I was one of those really horrible Moms. I volunteered for everything. There was Breakfast with Santa or was it Lunch with the Easter Bunny? No, it must have been Breakfast with Santa because I was already four days overdue with the Baby who weighed in at 10.5
lbs. on New Year’s Eve. By Lunch with Santa, all of my 5’ 2" frame was carrying around a full term baby, flipping pancakes, after staying up half the night making really ugly aprons and elf
hats! In those days you couldn’t buy Halloween costumes— you’d be banished as a slacker. Costumes had to be theme oriented—
so if my son was Peter Pan, his sister was Tinker Bell, when he was the spider she was little Miss Muffet. You get the picture. The baby was just the baby. I was a mess, up to my eyeballs in quilt batting and wire every blessed year. There was the County Fair, 4 H, swim team, scouting, and science fair projects—Oh, how I hated those projects. I never got
above a C. There were the sleepovers and the never ending pink bubble gum medicine. There was the time my daughter cut the next door neighbor’s hair because she thought it needed body (they were five at the time).
There was juggling all of this with work. On one occasion, I was on a conference call and before I knew it I had fed my two year old a Sam’s Club tub of chocolate covered raisins to keep him quiet—Whoa, what a mess (literally) we
had! I hope the statute of limitations for child abuse has ended on that one. As one career morphed into the next, I had clients to see in the evening and professional organizations and fashion shows and politics with children in tow
whenever possible. The years flew by and their whacky Mom just kept charging on. Perfection
was replaced by “it’ll do,” grilled cheese sandwiches were considered gourmet, and by the Baby’s sixth year, when I heard commotion upstairs and calls from big sister, “Mom he won’t get out of the tub,” I casually yelled, “Well, pull out the plug!”
So I have been through the boxes and at the end of this exercise, through the tears, I am more certain than ever that the joy of motherhood is the most profound and deep emotion I have ever known or will ever know. And no matter how busy, how hectic, how chaotic any day could ever be, there was always the good night kiss. No matter how late, or how soundly asleep my babies might
have been they knew that there would be a kiss. Some of us can’t be perfect Moms, I was not, but I am here to tell all of you young moms, don’t worry about “perfect,” but whatever you do, make sure you give them their good night kiss.
They will always love you just because you are Mom, their Mom. They understand how much you love them and how hard you are working to give them the very best childhood that you can. And at the end of the day when you bend to kiss their cheeks, 18 months or 18 years, it is the tenderness of a love that says without doubt or conditions, you are my precious child and there is nothing in this world or in this lifetime that will ever be more important than you.
God Bless you as you do what Mother’s do best… Love your babies.
About Candice Quinn Kelly a.k.a. Miss Candy
Candice is the owner of a management firm and a women’s boutique and the employer of over 20 employees. Her homeowner association management firm was recognized with a Leading Edge Award as the Charles County Technology Company of the Year in 2004. Her firm is one of 140 nationally recognized certified management firms in the country, and was nominated for the prestigious Reed McDonough Business of the Year Award through the Charles County Chamber of Commerce. Known for her commitment to the protection the environment, Candice launched a successful Going Green Campaign in 2009. She can be contacted at 301.645.2870 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 301.645.2870 end_of_the_skype_highlighting.
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