January 11, 2012

New Years Resolutions and Finding Love

By Michelle Jacoby

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I get excited to sit down and write my New Year’s Resolutions. I put on cozy pajamas, light a fire, pour myself a glass of red wine and open my laptop. Before I start typing, I take a deep breath, close my eyes and breathe – an important pause because this is the moment of truth. This is when I look back and get “real” about my life. I acknowledge what is working and admit to myself what isn’t. And I think about what I want. Not what my parents, my kids or my friends want me to want – but what I want. Am I living up to my own expectations? Am I doing my best? Am I accomplishing things that matter? Is my life going in a good direction? And the most important question of all, Am I truly happy?

I sit and stare at the blank screen. The wine eventually helps with my writer’s block, and words begin to flow. Two glasses of wine later, my mission is accomplished. I head up to bed smiling; knowing that this year will be a good one. I’m going to make important changes. I’ve got a plan of action, and I’m feeling motivated.

Okay, now let’s fast forward to April or May…

Where is my list again? I haven’t seen it in months. Did I file it under “self-improvement” or “New Year’s Resolutions”? Hmmm…

As a matchmaker and dating coach and someone who motivates others for a living, it’s hard for me to admit that when it comes to my own personal to-do list, I don’t always follow through. After all – I’ve got kids, a fiancé, a social life, my own business, piles of bills, cars and a house to take care of. It’s just hard. You know the drill.

We all want to make changes, but we get caught up in our day-to-day routines, and we forget the promises we make to ourselves. We forget that change requires hard work, commitment, repetition and sometimes even support from the people who love us the most. So this year, I’m determined to do things differently. This time, I’ve taped my list to my bathroom mirror, and item number one reads:

Make sure to follow through on your resolutions!

In the spirit of the New Year and my passion, which is helping others find love, I’ve written resolutions especially for you. Now tape this list to your bathroom mirror, and go make love happened in 2012. You deserve it.

New Years Resolutions to Find LOVE

1. This is the year I am going to find love. I will put dating before my social life and my work. I will set aside at least two nights per week to date and will make it my number one priority. I won’t just talk the talk. I’m going to walk the walk.

2. I will change my attitude about dating because there ARE great men out there, and I will do what I need to do to meet them.

3. HOME is a 4-letter word! I will get off the couch and out of my house, even when I’m exhausted from work or would rather lounge around in sweats. I will go to singles events, meet-ups, happy hours and every single party I’m invited to. I need to my put energy into meeting someone because the odds are, it won’t just happen.

4. I will smile and chat with strangers – not just because I want to meet men, but also because I want to share my positive energy with others. Everywhere I go, I will smile, chat and share myself with those around me. I will put down my cell phone, look up and make real connections.

5. I will tell all of my friends, family and coworkers that I am available and want to be fixed up. And I will let them know that I appreciate every introduction, even if it doesn’t work out.

6. I will date online with a unique, positive, playful and sincere profile with excellent photos taken by a professional photographer. The best way to meet single men is to date online, and I’m not going to miss the opportunity.

7. I will burn my LIST. If I’m so smart and know what my ideal man looks like, then why haven’t I found him yet? I will let go of my “type” and will date a wider range of men. Maybe I’ll date a little older or a different race. I challenge the Universe to surprise me and know it will take care of me.

8. I will be a great date. I will walk into my dates without expectations knowing that I might make a new friend. I will be warm, kind, positive, a great listener and will always be appreciative. I will smile, be upbeat and have fun on my dates. And I will leave negativity and talk of past relationships at the door.

9. I won’t take anything personally. I know I’m fabulous, but not every man will realize this. If someone isn’t interested in me, that’s not about me. That’s about what he’s looking for. The man I’m going to fall in love with will think I’m amazing exactly as I am. He will be excited to date me and will show me consistently with his words and his actions.

10. Even if I have a bad date or a bad night out, I will not get discouraged or give up! This is going to take commitment and hard work, but in the end, it will be worth it. I will keep my chin up and have a positive attitude because love is just around the corner. This is going to be the year that I find love because I am going to make it happen. I’m excited and say “thank you” in advance for the wonderful man who is about to enter my life.

Michelle can be reached at mj@dcmatchmaking.com. Learn more at dcmatchmaking.com.

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About Michelle Jacoby

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Michelle Jacoby is a matchmaker, dating and relationship coach and the owner of DC Matchmaking, a boutique matchmaking company for commitment-minded singles in Washington, DC, MD and VA. Michelle has gained national recognition and was awarded finalist for best matchmaker in the US at the 2011 iDate Awards and was a speaker at the 2010 National Matchmaking Conference. Michelle will be a featured presenter at the 2012 iDate Matchmaking Conference in Miami. She has appeared in The Washington Post, The Northwest and Georgetown Currents, The Washington Examiner, Bethesda Magazine, WUSA Channel 9, News Channel 8 - Let's Talk Live and NBC Washington. Her articles have been featured in Your Tango and EHarmony Advice.

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